nut hugger
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
