your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize