Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
