My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My balls are so social today.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
