Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
