Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
