If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
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