booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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