I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
