A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
