so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I need a beard to bite.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize