"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
