Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
