I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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