I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
