I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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