I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
