i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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