Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
