man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
