fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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