my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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