i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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