you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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