bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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