I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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