Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
