My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
