The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
sex in a hospital.. check
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
