I'm drive I can fine osifer
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
