So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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