ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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