Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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