yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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