3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
