i don't like sucking hair
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
