dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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