Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
