I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
