is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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