why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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