Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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