we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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