you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize