I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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