the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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