My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
