the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Come see our sink grown plant.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
