I heard we made out
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
