The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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