I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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