I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just threw up on my dentist
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Randomize
