I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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