idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize