Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
what is it with giant penises always finding me
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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