Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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