ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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