sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
