Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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