he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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