Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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