I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
In other news, I just burned my penis
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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