I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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