he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
