He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
